Off to the left, you rush between two creepy statues of stern-eyed ravens, each holding orbs. Little figures appear in the thick morning mist: a mass of fuzzy, flappy-eared creatures with guns, marching past a shiny turret.
You’re bumped in the back by the belly of one of the creatures. This one is husky, and he’s carrying a big gun, the business end of which is pointed at your face.
“Me, Captain Minion,” the husky guy grunts.
“Okay, Captain. Take that thing outta my face would ya?”
Behind you, the little minions let out a warbly warcry. Just in time, you duck away from a flashing, flying circular blade. The blade boomerangs back and lands in the grip of a glowy-eyed man wearing a high-tech helmet. All along the blade’s path lie the lopped-off arms and scattered guns of the little minions. A shell explodes from an enemy turret, blasting another minion into a gross puddle.