“Teleport Boots. Definitely.”
You waste no time: after pulling them on, you stare at a rock a short distance away and… you appear on the head of a minion who’s busy peeing over the edge of the Rise. Teetering, wheeling your arms, you manage to fall backward into a brush.
It worked! Your belly is gurgling and the boots are smoking, but it worked! You could go anywhere! Maybe somewhere warm. Or… you could find out what’s really going on at the center of the mountain.